So you knew it couldn’t end happily, didn’t you. The new Pottery Barn couch arrived while I was an an estate sale buying a used vacuum cleaner to replace the one I know will give up the ghost any moment (due to my gross maltreatment, see last post). I had already been to Macy’s and found a rather nice fleece blanket to put on the couch so that Jasper could have his way with it for a while. My husband fielded the new arrival and called to let me know.
I hurried home because I knew PB doesn’t put the slipcovers on and this is a two-person job.
Well, spouse and I labored mightily, and produced this:
You will note on close examination that the slipcover does not stretch to fit on the couch. We strained and sweated and gave up just before splitting the fabric. Then we inserted the seat cushions into their respective slipcovers. With quite a bit of difficulty because the cushions were so much bigger than the slipcovers that the resulting look included a substantial gap between the cushions.
The general look, though an improvement on the wicker couch you may remember from my last post, could not be considered a success.
I have now spent the afternoon on the phone with two different PB representatives. The first asked me to email her photos which I did. Enter a hiatus of two hours. I called back and left her a message. Nothing. Finally I called and spoke to Greg, another representative. I emailed him the photos and he allowed as how this would not do. Usually, he told me cosily, the slipcovers are too big. He went on to say that of course they were mass-produced. Dare I wonder in what sweatshop? Obviously no one ever tries them on. So, Greg has now ordered another round of slipcovers, which will be delivered, funnily enough, on the exact day I was originally supposed to get the replacement couch: May 24. No guarantees those will fit either.
I am now going to look up the address of Catholic Charities’ thrift store. Cuz here’s a thought: Maybe I can still get the old couch back. Just till the new slipcovers arrive.